5/31/17
Hello again!
I am including another post to Facebook that I wrote a while back concerning abusive churches and warnings to those that are in them. I can only say that if you are a member of a church and you feel that something is wrong there- there probably is. Proceed with caution. If it turns out to be an abusive church situation- get out at all costs. Protect yourself and your family by getting out as soon as possible. Find a Scriptural church where you can be loved, discipled, and edified. I’m praying for you if you are in this situation!
How To Know When It’s Time To Get Out Of Dodge (or How To Know When It’s Time To Get In Your Dodge And Get Out)
It’s me again. Bro. Beall, the “One Man’s Search For Truth” guy.
Here I am, stirred up again by the Holy Spirit to write what I have seen (Revelation 1:19). Since I last wrote in 2013, I have seen and experienced so many things as a Christian and as a pastor of a Baptist church. I’ve seen selfless acts done in the name of Jesus and I’ve seen self-centered acts that made me cringe and even become embarrassed. Sometimes I have even seen these things in others! (Did you catch that? The preceding sentence was about me!)
The Christian journey is an amazing thing, one with no shortages of ups and downs, hills and valleys, victories and losses. And it is all to help us to grow to maturity and bear fruit. It doesn’t come quickly- it takes time and commitment and a willingness to stick with it and wait on the LORD. It is not for wimps!!!
I have a real heart and a real concern for people who are believers and want to do the right thing but do not understand what the right thing is. I have been in churches that have moved away from systematic teaching of the Scriptures to build up and disciple believers, to topical preaching that is very rule oriented to keep the congregation performing desired behaviors. I realize that many folks will be perfectly happy with the second scenario and believe that they are where the LORD wants them to be. Friend, if this is you- please do not read the rest of this note. It’s not my intention to cause problems for you. However, if you are in a church and something seems to be wrong but you can’t put your finger on it, or don’t know what to do, or are afraid to do anything, I humbly ask you to read on. I know how you feel because I have been there.
The Scripture definitely tells us to stay away from those who teach contrary to what God has said in His word:
Romans 16:17-18 (NKJV) Now I urge you, brethren, note those who cause divisions and offenses, contrary to the doctrine which you learned, and avoid them. For those who are such do not serve our Lord Jesus Christ, but their own belly, and by smooth words and flattering speech deceive the hearts of the simple. (bold letters added)
I hurt for those that are in toxic churches and don’t know what to do. The fear and pressure that they are kept under is unreal. I know how these churches operate because I have been in them. In order for people to be able to leave a toxic church environment, they first need to know that the things that are going on in the church that are perceived as wrong to them probably are indeed wrong. I want to share with you some things I have observed personally in churches that are warning signs that you should GET OUT OF THERE!
IF YOU SEE THESE THINGS GOING ON IN YOUR CHURCH- GET OUT!
*If the pastor uses guilt to get you to give or serve in some way- he is manipulating you- GET OUT!
*If the pastor uses your giving record against you, he has overstepped his bounds. What you give and when you give is between you and the Holy Spirit. GET OUT!
If the pastor humiliates people, or threatens that God will punish members to keep the congregation in line-GET OUT!
If the word of God is not the authority for faith and practice in the church, but rather what the pastor says- GET OUT!
If questions about the teachings of the church, or decisions of the church, or actions of the pastor can never be asked for any reason- GET OUT!
If the church exists to serve the pastor rather than the pastor serve the church as a servant leader, GET OUT!
If a pastor is not willing to admit when he is wrong, GET OUT!
If your pastor is trying to control every aspect of your life, he is manipulating you. He has taken the place of the Holy Spirit in your life. The Scripture says that the pastor is to maintain order in the assembly and to teach and disciple the believers, not be a control freak. GET OUT!
If your pastor has an explosive temper and cannot control his actions- GET OUT!
If the church service is centered on the pastor and his opinions and not the word of God’s clear teaching- GET OUT!
If the church service seems more like a three-ring circus with hawking and gimmicks than an assembly of believers where the Holy Spirit is obviously present- GET OUT!
If the teaching of the church is constantly putting you back under the Mosaic Law and not expounding the Law of Christ to you- GET OUT!
If the teaching of the church primarily emphasizes external standards and not internal holiness and repentance- GET OUT!
If you are in a church where you do not feel loved, appreciated, and are highly valued in the kingdom because of what Christ has done for you- GET OUT!
If you are in a church where you are not being fed spiritually, but feel that all the services are the same repetitious rules and regulations (tithing, dress standards, music, etc.) GET OUT!
Friends, it may seem like I have an axe to grind here. I really don’t. But I have seen how great a church can be when it gets back to simple scriptural principles and assemble together in unity in the Holy Spirit! And I have a feeling that there are people who will read this note that want that as well. I have heard people describe this as “there has to be something more to church than just rules.” There is- it is relationship with Jesus Christ! In order to move toward what is right, you have to move away from what is wrong.
Who am I to say anything about any of this anyway? I’m just a believer in Christ who is trying to live as closely to the Bible as I can. Interestingly enough, some people find that interacting with me is helpful and an inspiration. Because I have committed myself to God’s truth at any cost, some view me as a traitor or heretic because I refuse to give loyalty to men, preachers, pastors, churches, camps, associations when they move away from God’s word with their beliefs. What do I do when I hear of those that are spreading untrue things about me and my ministry or are teaching things that are untrue in their ministries? I avoid them! And I’m happier for it! And you will be too, I promise!
I want to give you an example of manipulation of a member in a church in its purest form. A friend of mine and his family began to feel that the LORD was leading them to leave the church where they were members and find another. While they were waiting for a clear direction from the LORD, the pastor of that church realized that they might leave the church and said from the pulpit that if members of that church left there, that God would kill their children. My friend and his family stayed because of fear of what was said from the pulpit, until something happened in the church with that pastor that was so bad that they knew that they could not stay there any longer. Some of you that are reading this may be shocked that any pastor anywhere would say something like that from the pulpit. Some of you reading this may feel that the pastor was completely justified in what he said and that this is just “good preaching”. Some of you may be reading this and realizing that these are the same kind of statements that your pastor makes from the pulpit. What a mess we are in when pastors use fear tactics, guilt, and manipulation to control the behavior of their members! (By the way my friend and his family have moved on and are very happy now in the church they attend.)
Friend, if you are in a church where some or all of the things I mention above (and those are only a few- I could list many more) are common place in the church- you may hear things said from the pulpit like my friend did- that you will lose your children if you leave that church. But I say to you earnestly and honestly- you will lose your children if you stay in that toxic cultic church environment- they will do what you tell them to do now, but when they grow up they will resent what they saw and heard going on in that church and they will fall by the wayside and out of church. For their sake, find a church that is Spirit filled so that those children can get a real glimpse of the Savior before their hearts are hardened.
The truth is that God has not failed the churches. But many of the churches have failed God by creating a man-centered (pastor) authority rather than Jesus Christ as the head of the body. Honestly, if Jesus was here in bodily form, do you think that He would praise us for what we have allowed churches to turn into? I don’t think He would. It is interesting in Revelation 2 through 4 that when Jesus addresses the churches the common instruction is “Repent”. Are we above repentance as a church? Do we really believe that we have nothing to answer for if our agenda is more important than Christ’s? God forgive us. We have created this mess ourselves, and it is time to say “NO- NEVER AGAIN”.
Friend if you see some of the things I mention above going on in your church, they should be warning signs that you should consider very carefully. If you are in a church where the pastor is the ultimate authority with unlimited power and answers to no one (not even God), do yourself a favor and GET OUT. God will lead you to a place where you can be loved and fed the word of God and be ministered to as well as minister to others. You must get out of the place that is hurting you spiritually and get to a place of spiritual healing. Christians have failed you but Christ has not! Run to Him!
Refuse to live in fear, and decide to live in the truth of the Scriptures.
There is always room for more travelers on the pathway of light in Christ Jesus! I hope to see you walking next to me!
If I can ever help anyone with anything, please let me know. I am a good listener!
Your humble servant,
Bro. Joseph Beall